There’s a place

There’s a place

 

There’s a place

It’s not so far away

Just around the corner

The corners of my memories

The things I’m afraid to say

 

The doors are painted white

The mirage of none hell

Inside a vicious torturer

Far worse than any devil

Just my enemy in sight

 

Death comes with the clicking of a lock

Closed down

Kept

And afraid to move

Every escape completely blocked.

 

No whispers from my lips will fall

No echo of their crimes

Faceless villains

Taking what’s theirs

Indulging in sick past times.

 

From my flesh

They stole my soul

The things they made me do

Just a child, a boy I was

No longer left whole.

 

Held down in suffering

Burnt, beaten and betrayed

No sounds to save us from this place

Cries not heard by the deaf

But the dirty and afraid.

 

Cameras clicked at every angle

Snapshots of fake smiles

Behind the vile picture

Tears

Forced labour of our trials.

 

So many men through the day

Some came to us at night

Spending black gold

Their perverted actions

Their right.

 

A nameless boy I was

Laid frightened and alone

To sore to move

To afraid to be still

Raped, taken for their own.

 

My notebook holds all my sins

My teddy in my arms

Holding onto every secret

The guardian of my pain

My written words of harm

 

Go now that you have seen

Look away and close this book

Don’t think of me at all from now

There’s nothing for you to see

I beg you, please don’t look.

 

The shameful images in my heart

Aren’t what you want to now

But rather, a happy child

The lies his life does tell

Your guilt is free to go.

 

I held your hand so many times

Wishing that you’d see

The innocent child waiting for you

Your son.

You never came for me.

I asked you to stop.

I asked you to stop.

 

How could you

How could you

I asked you to stop

But like always you didn’t

Just a moment you said

I pushed with my hand

Because you hurt me so much

One minute is all you said

Because you didn’t care

I hate you so much

I cried and I pleaded but you didn’t cease

I’m so f****** angry

That I can’t get it out

It’s your fault that I’m like this

You did this to me

I hate you

I hate you

My brother was watching

You tarnished him too

He held my hand when I cried that night

Not you or my mother

No, you laughed and you joked

And none of you cared

I hope that you’re happy

I can’t even love you

Through Darkness

Through Darkness

 

Through darkness comes help unexpected

Friendship unknown from secret places

Blind, wandering through an abyss of sorrow

Reaching in, staggered with concerned faces.

 

A life that is not alone

Is a mystery to me

The sounds of silence fill my world

I often wish, a dream, maybe.

 

To touch the things

I cannot have

Stolen, gone, not mine,

Taken in greed and insecurities.

 

In times of anger and my pain

Through the tears and stress

A test, the gift, a treasure that I see

One of joy, honesty and sincere happiness.

 

Handed to me, when in need

When it seems there’s no way through

Heroes of unrealised friendships

I thank you.