Goodbye Teddy. Released Today

The wait is over. Goodbye Teddy, the fourth and final book, in the Dear Teddy series is now available on Amazon.com and Amazon.co.uk.

With four, 5 star reviews already.

Dear Teddy Banner

This journey has been an odd one; I didn’t even know I was on it. Dear Teddy was born out of a conversation with my therapist at the time, a way for the child to speak after so many years of silence and being locked away in the dark. Once I gave him a pen and told him it was okay for him to talk, he didn’t stop. He had so much to say, and he did.
Goodbye Teddy is the fourth and final book in the Dear Teddy series, as with the previous books; it is told through the eyes of the child. He asks you to walk with him as he shows you his world. This is a tale of child abuse in all forms. Every page takes you through the horrific events and the ways he came to survive them. It shows you the betrayal by those very people that should have protected him; his mother and father.
Listen as he shares his secrets, his fears, his hopes and dreams. Laugh with him, cry with him, but don’t stop or close your eyes.

Goodbye Teddy
Goodbye Teddy

Goodbye Teddy

Excerpt
I sit on the cushions. I look at my dad’s bottle of petrol. Maybe I can drink it. It is poison. My dad says it is. He shouts when my brother plays in there. Because there is lots of things and it is poison and can make him die and go to heaven. I look at it lots of times. Maybe I can drink it all down. I think about it inside. Maybe it tastes nice. I like how it smells. Maybe it doesn’t taste very bad.
I reach over and get it. I open it. It smells nice. Maybe I can count. Not to four, though. Four is very bad. I count to three. One, two, three. Then I can drink it and I can go away and then everyone is happy about it.
One.
Two.
Three.
I lift the bottle up and then I put it at my mouth. I don’t tip it yet. I don’t keep the crying part away. I don’t ever be any good. “Drink it.” I say it very bad to myself. “Drink it. Drink it.”

 

goodbye back italics

The entire series can also be downloaded from Amazon.com and Amazon.co.uk in a single book.

Goodbye Teddy – Review

Out September 1st

 

A pre review of Goodbye Teddy

This book is heartbreaking. It gives the reader closure at the end. I was unable to put it down until my eyes just simply gave out. This was the first day of reading it. I finished it the second day.
It is graphic, however the reader cannot totally grasp how horrific the brutality is without it. It is needed to let the reader understand what the boy went through.
It picks up at age eight. The molestation is so brutal and continues to get worse. I wanted to climb into the book and rescue him and take him away from the horrific brutality that he had to endure. I wanted to give him the correct kind of love and give him a better life. He deserved to have a family that loved him without abusing him. Not only does he endure brutal physical pain, but mental pain as well. He is broken down until he feels like there isn’t an end.
I cried so much until I became even more angry with the adults that ripped this boys life apart. I wanted to hurt them. Then I couldn’t cry. The tears did come again as he continued to be attacked.  Covergoodbye words
This is a world-wide problem and we need to educate ourselves on the signs of abuse that we have been given by the author. We owe it to him to make a change.
The author has shown so much bravery in sharing his story. The way in which It is written makes you feel like you are with him every step of the way. But we are only on the outside looking in.
This book is a must read!

New Book Released!!!

If I Were To Die Today is the new book, this one follows on from the Dark Ramblings of the Phoenix. Although, stand alone. As always with my books, please take special care of yourself if any of these may trigger you.

photoBuy it here

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Think you know about child abuse? Hear it from the voice of a child.

Think you know about child abuse? Hear it from the voice of a child.

Free for five days.

teddy new 1

Little boy little boy,
Curled in a ball.
I know your secrets,
I know them all

I write in my journal as much as I can. I talk to Mr. Ted. He is my only friend. He understands when the bad man comes. He holds my hand when I have nightmares and my mummy doesn’t hear me cry. Mr. Ted doesn’t tell. He won’t say when my daddy hurts me. He keeps my secrets and my stories. I love Mr. Ted. He is the only one who loves me back.

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Free Today, Last Day Today!!!

Telling Teddyteddy2cover final

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Mr. Ted holds the hand of his six-year-old friend as they share more of his deepest secrets. Poignant and bold, the boy’s courageous words are detailed and real. He takes you farther into his abusive life and broken mind as he survives the tangled deceit and lies of his everydays. Sit alongside him. Hear his voice and listen with your heart as he opens it up once more.

 

His story continues…

FREE!!! for two days

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Free Today!!! For two days.

Telling Teddy

http://tinyurl.com/On-Amazon-com

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teddy2cover final

Mr. Ted holds the hand of his six-year-old friend as they share more of his deepest secrets. Poignant and bold, the boy’s courageous words are detailed and real. He takes you farther into his abusive life and broken mind as he survives the tangled deceit and lies of his everydays. Sit alongside him. Hear his voice and listen with your heart as he opens it up once more.

His story continues…

Stupid Boy

A good friend of mine and fellow author Azure Boone read Teddy three, which at the moment I affectionately call Stupid Boy. Its a working title at the moment. She thought to write a review of it so far and said I could share it here. 

So, I beta read Dear Teddy part three by JD Stockholm.  The current working title is I think is “Teddy and Stupid Boy”

When he sent me the file, it was titled Stupid Boy. First thing I wanted to do was change it. Isn’t that how we are though? Wanting to just erase the wrong, and make it right? I did that throughout the manuscript in fact, changed words to erase the lies. I was like an out of control parent, storming through his past and rewriting shit like it might actually help.

He said he got a good laugh, so, I’m glad for that.

But you know, the most amazing thing happened while I read book three. I began to really understand this kid. I began to “get” why he didn’t want to look in the mirror, “get” why he felt “bad”.

Reading these accounts in the child’s pov has allowed me to actually watch how the abuse took hold of him, how he processed it and how his phobias were born.

Tremendously educational while at the same time, horrific.

Some things that really struck me in book three, I mean really slapped awe into me, was this kid’s compassion! The best way for me to explain it, is to show it. Warning…this scene is taken from the part in his life when he’s being sexually abused by strangers all day long at a “camp” his “parents” sent him to:

My hand is sore. I don’t be able to hold the cover very tight. The girl next to me has too much and I don’t be able to pull it back. The dark man made it all sore because he squished it all down. He didn’t mean to. He said he was sorry about it. I told him it was okay. I didn’t want him to be sad about it.

I swear. This broke my heart. I mean, here’s this sweet kid, suffering the most horrific shit, and he has the heart to care about the man who hurt him. Un-believable. Truly.  I couldn’t even comment on what form of torture would befit this mother-effer. I was too blown away.

What’s different about book three too is the whole Stupid Boy theme. At this time, this kid is sure he’s got to be the most stupid kid on the planet. He can’t do anything right, everything he does makes people hate him and hurt him. The author opens every chapter with a small Stupid Boy story that summarizes what the chapter holds. So very clever, and as usual, the voice, the vocabulary, is just remarkable. I mean, Stupid Boy is my hero! I love Stupid Boy, he’s like the most awesome kid on the planet to me. He was even nice to the monsters in his stories:

Stupid Boy and his friends all went out for the day. They went to the big hills that touched the sky. They climbed the hills. It took a long, long time. Maybe a week. There was lots and lots of snow. It was all white and shiny and cold.

Mr. Ted thought maybe there would be penguins. They got to hear a growl outside. It was a snow monster. It was all big and scary.  He got big giant claws that was all black. He got sharp teeth too and was going to eat everyone all up.

Mr. Ted and Stupid Boy got their swords and went outside to chop the monster up. Mr. Ted hit the monster with his sword and the monster cried.

Stupid Boy feeled sad in his tummy. The snow monster was cold. He wanted to sit in the tent by the fire.

They all got to be friends.

I vote Stupid Boy for president!

Another amazing thing I learned was why the child in the story thought he was bad. He didn’t like when his father did sexual things to him, and so, he was sure it was the bad inside him that made him not like the sexual things his father and mother made him do. His parents were so good at pretending it was normal and good, that the child figured he was the bad one for having a problem with it!

That just blew me away when I realized that was happening.

I think the end of this book was the hardest for me to read out of all the books so far. In fact, I even told him, “I don’t think you’re going to be able to put this, it’s too horrible, people aren’t going to be able to read it.”

And it was only a day’s account at that hellish camp they sentenced him to. I asked him how long he went there. He told me every weekend and during holidays, for nearly two years!

Why was this abuse worse? Because it hurt him more. He wanted to go home. He wanted his mom. His dad. This abuse at the hands of strangers was much worse on his psyche than any other. And it went on for nearly two years. The reader wouldn’t be able to endure that torture, because I believe they become very tied to him throughout the book and would feel like they were making him live it again.

And for others like me, if it’s there, I must read it. Or I will feel like he’s shared something and I have left him alone to bear it. So, I’m not sure how much of it will get left or removed, but, I do hope he does whatever he needs to.

Well, this concludes my review on the Dear Teddy part 3 book with the working title of Teddy And Stupid Boy.  I thank the author for allowing me the privilege of reading this account and not being angry at me for marking it all up with my temper tantrums. Be looking for the release, it’s coming soon! Help me spread the news, help the author educate the public about the hidden side of child abuse.

 

Read it on her site here.

Blog Flash 2012. Day One.

#BlogFlash2012: 30 Days, 30 Prompts, 30 PostsI’m always up for a good challenge when it comes to writing. I thrive on them and so does my words. 30 posts, 30 days 30 prompts. I can do this.

#BlogFlash2012

Day 1 – Thinking.

So today I am thinking, Telling Teddy has just been released a few days ago, it’s doing okay. Dear Teddy is doing great also. It’s Camp Nano.  I don’t miss
NanoWriMo challenges,  I think I am a challenge junkie, it’s what keeps me going and keeps me sane, it did as a child. Perhaps it is because I have a goal, something to focus my very active mind on other than the stuff that weighs me down and makes me want to drown. Do I re-write The Adventures of Stupid Boy (Dear Teddy three) for Camp Nano?

Day 1. Thinking.

The Extraordinary Girl and her Teddy.

The Extraordinary Girl and her Teddy.

When I was writing Dear Teddy, I am sure like many other writers before me, there were ideas of what my book would do and say to the people reading. For me, I hoped to give a child a voice, so that people might understand child abuse in a different way as to how they do now.

It was also a form of healing, for a child that never got to talk.

What I didn’t expect was for Mr. Ted to help others the way he had helped me.

A couple of days ago, I was miserable from a review that I had got. The person reading had sadly missed the point of the book. However on the same day, I also received an email. Or rather Mr. Ted did from a young girl whose story was very similar to my own.

I never imagined she was still living her story. I never realised that maybe there are children out there that find comfort in talking to someone like Mr. Ted.

She talked to me about the bad things that were happening and I held her hand (metaphorically) as she told someone. While I don’t want to give anything about her away for her privacy, I am pleased to have talked to her.  She was extremely brave and I am glad to have helped her.

I feel grateful that I was able to write my book. I feel grateful that it was able to help someone.  Perhaps it is good to get a new perspective on what books can actually do for someone. It certainly made me see things differently.

I want to say thank you to the girl who asked for my help.

A link I recommend for anyone in similar circumstances.

iSurvive.