Some days I think it hurts to live in this world, perhaps it’s just me, I don’t really know.
I don’t watch the news because of this, when I see the despair, loss and atrocities that people do to each other, it feels like pain inside, like sadness I think.
I watched and shared a video, it was about two people that clearly loved one another and one of them died in a sudden accident, and I watched the one that was left behind, his tears and the sadness that was so unmistakable in his face and words, he had just lost his world, but what is sadder than that, is his partners parents cruelly pushed him out and took his partners body and then strangers that saw his memorial page for his partner, or read his sorrow, dared to email him telling him to get over it, and that he should stop moaning there are people starving and other various vile words.
When my book first came out, I received some messages like this, obviously I didn’t lose someone, except my own self as a child, but I was told to not write about my abuse, that other people were abused and they didn’t spread their story all over. That my story is boring and that other people have had much worse happen to them.
I wonder what is wrong with people. I recently lost a friend of mine, not through death, although it does feel that kind of loss, but through acts I do not understand.
I wonder why people aren’t nice to each other. why they spend so much energy on being cruel. Why they are happy to cause someone else’s tears. why their own selfishness makes them say things.
If watching that video showed me anything it’s that tomorrow the person you love, be it partner, husband, wife, friend or child, maybe they could be taken and then it’s too late.
Why do we put more time into hurting others and less time telling them we love them. why do we not just take the hands of those we hold most dear and hold onto them. forget what the rest of the world is doing. forget sending cruel messages to strangers.
In one breath, what you love could be gone, so why risk wasting a minute?
I feel the same way. Why do people hurt each other when we only have a short time on this earth.
I totally get what your saying ,but for a while when i was a lot younger i turned my back on the world and everyone i loved in it just because my father died on me….
i deeply felt angry at him for leaving me in this shit of a world. it took me a long time, and the gift of my 3 beautiful children,to come to some understanding of my own resentment of life itself… but your story truley saddens me but im sure that it must help to release some of the pent up hurt inside you,and others in similar situations. I admire your inner strength to tell your story,im not sure i could have had your courage.The poeple that say such cruel things to each other,I dont think they have had any love in there life to say such things…
The friends who have commented above, are correct. I think most of the ones who are cruel, usually have had something terrible happen to them in their lives. (you are an exception) Something that has affected them so profoundly, that it has taken over everything, to the extent that they become bitter, selfish, even bored. Their misery is all they have. You know what I always say about misery.
Though they may do a good job at hiding it, usually their worlds are full internal suffering. Some are constantly looking for things that can make them feel good, while others couldn’t care less. And still others, have a version in their heads as to the way the world should be, and will allow NOTHING to go against that. (I think those are the most dangerous kinds of people.) Unfortunately, it doesn’t take much to have any of them turn on you.
You asked why do we put more time into hurting others, and less time telling them that we love them? Simply… for some, it is easier to stir trouble and hatred, rather than to love. Loving takes MUCH more effort.
And why risk wasting a minute? Because most people think that they have all the time in the world… that such a tragedy will never happen to them. We both know that is not true.
Whomever it was, that “erased” you from their life… it was their loss. Their selfish, miserable loss.
I am sorry you’re hurting, James. I hope this feeling eases soon.
Oh, and have I told you lately how glad I am, that you are in my life? That I am blessed to have such a beautiful friend? And that I love you very much?
Well I do. And I am. 😉
~ Hugs ~
I would say “ditto” to everyhting Teresa said, because I think she is right on most counts. There are also cruel people who have not had bad things happen to them, but they are cruel, nevertheless. Children, whom we think, above bad feelings can be really cruel with one another sometimes. I think that, besides people being bitter, and taking time for granted, you are more sensitive than the average person. Some of the people who comment here also are. You can tell by the way you write, refer to others, take some time thinking maybe some word or deed can make sb else feel at least a little better…
I know, also, because I’m highly sensitive too, and even when I can find rational answers to the question you pose, I ask myself the same, nevertheless. Many times. On those occassions, It’s not so much a “wanting to know” question, but a “cry for help” question, and/or “a feeling lonely, different and misunderstood” question. A question that inquires the world about being so different; wired in a way people’s suffering makes you feel pain, and things other people do too.
You’ve had it specially hard in that aspect. Yet, you keep being this kind, compassionate, sensitive human being… I think you are wonderful.
I’m sorry that, on top of things, you are losing a friend… or have lost him or her… As Teresa says, it’s her or his loss. And a big loss, I would add…
Regarding your books, I really appreciate you telling your story. Far from boring, I think those writings are heartbreaking, yet neccesary. For victims and survivors of child abuse; for those of us who investigate this kind of phenomena and want to help kids like you and make them better; for society as a whole.
And: You’re valuable, I care about you. I’m glad you’re letting me in your thoughts, your life…
Count on me, James…
I think that it takes a very special person to have been through what you have,and not feel resentment towards everyone and everything. I tend to distance myself from eveyone,so as the disappointment that is expected dont quite hit home as hard as it would do otherwise!! x
JD dear friend never trivilise what has happened to you,so many people would not be where you are now,and if your writing help even one other abused person, you have done good.I watched the video very sad but thats life,oh for the perfect world and perfect people,nay could never happen aye.,I totally agree with all above comments,so right Julie.well JD you no you are loved by family and many others who you will never meet.(friends).(((HUGS))) and much love. xxxxxx