What’s the Point?

I’m trying not to think today, trying not to ponder on the idea of ‘the point’ but I can’t help it. What is the point? A question that crosses my mind so often and sends me spiralling down a path in my thoughts that don’t lead to anywhere good. It’s so hard to come back from it too, my chest feels heavy, like its aching and crying inside, that’s the only way I can describe it. It’s been with me for a couple of days now and I’m trying to fight it, trying so hard because if I don’t I start to think. I stare out of the window like a man stood on the top of a mountain looking down and I watch. man-756833

That moment when the air around is cool and still, like the fresh breath of a new morning, when there are no real sounds, but the buzzing of one’s own mind. When the air is crisp and clear and hasn’t been polluted by the day’s events. When there is peace inside and the thoughts are as clear as the air around.

That is how it feels when I stare out of the window, but if I just turn to the left or the right, the rest of the world is awake and moving and I’m not. I’m standing so still in this moment wondering how it is that these people can go about their normal day and not see it the same way I do. Why don’t they realise that the petty fights they have, the race to work, the worry about the next bill mean nothing. Nothing at all, because in the end, after everything we do; we all die.

That thought leads me to that question; what’s the point? Why do we fight? Why do we do anything at all? Some people say it’s to be happy, but what’s the point in that? Maybe it’s to make a difference in the world, but again, what does that achieve? In reality, every reason and everything we do is insignificant and doesn’t matter. SO why are we here. Why am I here? Why do I live each day with his pain inside?

What is the point?

4 thoughts on “What’s the Point?

  1. I too, believe that we all have these types of thoughts, most like more than we might like to admit. For myself, they have come in times of sorrow, frustration, and despair. Emotions I know you are all too familiar with. The world… my world seemed to lose its wonder. Its very joy.
    As for what’s the point… to me, there’s always a point.. sometimes we just have to look a bit harder. In your case, I think a LOT harder sometimes.
    Yes, we can and do make a difference. We may not see the results right away (if at all), but they exist… Whether it’s a homeless child needing some guidance and a place to stay, a terrified and abused young girl, just entering the system, a desperate voice on the other end of a suicide prevention hotline call… or simply a good friend in need of a shoulder in the middle if the night because he is unable to sleep. Sometimes it’s simply the feeling of helping someone else feel better.
    Then there are those who sometimes sabotage the good things in their lives and don’t allow themselves to have anything good because they feel they don’t deserve them…..
    James, I’ve said to you before, and to some it may sound a bit rude, but it truly is not meant that way, when I say,that after all you have been through and what you continue to deal with ; if you didn’t have these kinds of thoughts, I would wonder about you.
    Like that reader I referred to as perhaps wanting to read a fairytale instead of your story; life is not a fairytale and no one expects you to behave like it is. You have every right to have your blue days… more of a right than most people I know. At the risk of sounding selfish in all if this, I have to say, that this world would be a lot less brighter if you were not in it.
    Just know, when the clouds lift, (and even if they don’t) we will still be here. And you will still be loved.
    No matter what.

    ~ Hugs ~

    • ~ Sorry, gotta add a couple of more quick thoughts…
      Thought one: Regarding Vicki. What if, because you put your story out there… because Vicki read it… and shared it… what if, one child is spared any more abuse??? That ONE child is the/a point.

      Thought two: Like Dawn said, and I agree, when we reach the end of our journeys, I hope the answers are waiting for us. (And yes, you have already made a difference, James. Numerous times. Maybe it just doesn’t seem very significant to you. But it does to us)

      Thought three: Not telling you how or what to think or say or do. No one should do that. But ya know, doing what YOU want to do, being with who you want to be with, getting the best that life has to offer, is sometimes the point… and the best revenge.

      Thought four: Yes, none of us are getting out of this world alive… but why not enjoy the ride as much as we can while we’re here?

      I love you, James. Hang in there. x

      ~ Hugs ~

      • ~ Last comment, I promise. Regarding the amount of pettiness, vapidness, selfishness, and “blindness,” that resides everywhere… you are not alone in your thoughts. Though it is nice to see the world through your eyes, sometimes. x

  2. I know what its like to be searching for answers that may or may not exist,sometimes not even knowing the questions your asking in the first place,or why your thinking the way that you do.To me that is the most frustrating part of my dark moments…..its a constant struggle to see the point in life.But does everyone think and sturggle at the moments or (to me at least) is it just me.

    You deserve to certainly find inner peace,or at least put to rest,and to put your self out of the torture you seem to think you deserve,for things that happened beond any contribution/control form yourself.But how to do that my friend,im sorry i dont have the answers as im still searching for my own!!!

    Oh,and as for what is the point…. im still looking for one,weather or not we find it im guessing is up to weather we let outselves see (truely see) the point.
    Good luck on your journey to find it,and if you do as im sure you will, point me in the right direction!

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