Silence, hope

Silence, hope, it’s what I have

I’m waiting

Waiting for you to notice

Not the bruise upon my face

Or the way I feel dirty

Not the way I can’t look at you

Not the way I hate myself

I’m not waiting for food

I feel so sick

I’m not waiting for you to welcome me home

From my weekend in my prison

 

 

I wonder if you thought of me

If that morning you remembered

I wonder if you smiled for me

I woke that morning

But not alone

The broken dolls laid next to me

Dirty and torn just as I was

Waiting for the day to start

Waiting for it to hurt

The things we didn’t understand

 

I thought about you

I wondered if you remembered

If you’d come and get me

I didn’t even cry that day

 

I wondered if anyone knew

I waited

Did you go out and celebrate?

Did you think of me?

Did you laugh and smile with your family?

Or did you curse that day?

 

Now I’m 8.

Did you remember?

It was my birthday.