Silence

It’s been a while since I have posted here. Actually it’s been a while since I have posted anywhere. I find talking so hard to do, even if it is just a message here or there. I feel like I am bothering people mostly. I do love to hear from people, though. I love the messages I get, even when I don’t have the strength to answer, the support is never lost on me.  scarscover

I’m back in therapy. If you’ve read my last post here, you’ll see I tried to overdose. Of course I’ve since almost hospitalised myself recently with cutting my arms too. Therapy is like a huge big puddle that I am trying so badly not to drown in. Some days I wake up and wish there was a way I could just make everything stop.

It’s been ten weeks with my therapist. Ten weeks of feeling like he isn’t hearing me properly. The last appointment I had, though. He finally heard me. It felt that way anyway. I told him I felt like I had different personalities and there wasn’t a way to stop them coming out. I already know I am fragmented into parts, and I’ve never been able to get it across to him. This time he listened. It was like watching a light bulb go on above his head and I at least feel hopeful.

I guess there isn’t much to say. If you have read my books, maybe you would like to know that I have been posting the story beyond the books on Wattpad. It’s slow going because I am trying to give myself some time to write fiction. I love that the most and I think inside I just need a little make believe for a while, but I update it where I can. Read it here.

I’ll try not to be so long until I post again. Maybe then I will have found my voice once more.

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9 thoughts on “Silence

  1. I’ve been missing you being on FB, and I also worry about you cause you’re having to cope minute by minute instead of day by day. Sent you a PM on the updates here and my usual ramblings…..take care of yourself, and you know I’m always here if you get in the mood to reach out to FB friends. Ya never know, I may even make you giggle!! 😛

  2. its hard to knowing what to say but remember you do have friends here………just reach out and i iwll be there for you ❤

  3. It’s good to see you on here again. 🙂 You have people who will never give up on you, no matter what. 🙂

  4. Every day.
    Every day that you awaken and see the sun rise.
    Every day that you write, and share your feelings… no matter what they are.
    Every day that you are still here.
    That is a day of triumph.
    I think you should be proud.
    I hope that someday, you will be.

    Until then, I and so many others will be here, to support you, to adore you, and to love you.
    Every. Single. Day. ღ

    ~ Hugs ~

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