They come in different shapes and sizes. They wear different masks and their reasons usually point to an insecurity in one way or another.
I have acquired many friends through the internet and social networking; I have also acquired fake ones. I think perhaps over the net, hiding behind a screen is the easiest place to be fake. I am not sure what the gain is.
I have encountered different varieties of fake friends. Ones that lie about themselves; say they are 39, when really they are 52 years old. Say they are athletic and trim, when really they carry a little weight on them. I understand this kind of fake identity. It’s the insecurities of the person you’re talking to that are ashamed in some way of these things. But in another way, it also shows a lack of respect. I feel insulted that someone who claims to be a friend would feel the need to lie. Do they think I would stop talking to them because I knew the real things? I am not that shallow. The sad answer is that I would be their friend regardless, but now what I have is lies.
Then there is the other kind; the more hurtful, devious kind that rips you to pieces when you’re not looking, but smiles sweetly when they see you. I am not sure I understand what they gain. If you don’t like a person then don’t be their friend. I don’t see the reason to spend the time being nice and then later tell everyone else what you really feel.
I was sad to learn I have one of these and while I know putting my books out into the public will get different responses, good and bad; I don’t expect the bad ones from those who claim to be friends.
This person openly praised my books; wrote a review and talked to me with care and compassion. But, sadly, this same person said some very hurtful things to someone else who, in turn, retorted with phrases like “He will get over it when he grows up and becomes a man.”
It hurt to learn that this friend discussed me with another victim; not of sexual abuse but physical abuse, and compared and dismissed me as if I should just get over everything. Believe me, if it were that easy, I really would do it.
I have been accused of being sarcastic, short, and of making comments that are of a sexual nature, in private. I know that I haven’t done these things, but what hurts is to be accused.
What is so hard in this situation is that this person talks to me as if none of these things have been said.
I wish they would just leave if this is what they think of me. Why be my friend?
I have wondered if this makes me a fake friend too because I will not confront them about it. But I will not tell them I am hurt.
I will not hurt them as they have done to me.